ver 0.1, April 22, 2004

Wait! Before you jump to any conclusions. Before you let your preconceptions get ahead of your heart, and listen. Just for a moment, try as hard as you can to empty your thoughts. Empty your mind of everything. If you're having trouble, try what I do sometimes. Close your eyes and think of a color, I like to use black, but any color will do. Now think about that color for as long as you can, try to visualize only that color.


Back? Alright, let's get started. This website is one (of many) manifestations of the many dreams and aspirations I have. In some ways, this site is at the center of my dreams, aspirations, and nightmares (but that's getting ahead of myself). Shockobable, has been with me for a very long time. Now I debated long and hard whether to just cram everything into this one little blog, but I decided, that since I have so many things that I want to do, that each of them deserved their own space. I also did it for SEO purposes. As you might know, the more specific a website is, the more successful it should be in organic search ranking.

Shockobable is also the home page for iKantoo, which is short for Igantius Kantoo, or if you'd prefer Iggy. That's not my real name, it's a pseudonym. It's an affirmation I came up with. It literally means "I can too!" You see, I don't live, what you'd call, a normal life. I'm retired from working, but I'm still a relatively young man. Now I wish I could say that I'm retired because I'm this incredibly lucky entrepreneur who made a bundle off of software and retired to a tropical island, but that's not quite my case. While I do live on a tropical island, I'm retired because I have a debilitating disease. It's called Crohn's Disease, named after some dude that "discovered" it.

I was diagnosed with the condition over 20 yeas ago when my ileum exploded and I almost died of peritonitis. Ever since then, I've gotten increasingly worse, until the point that I had to stop working. It's a strange disease that I discuss a lot over on one of my other blogs: Dealing with Crohn's. You can learn a lot about the condition from following that blog or visiting the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America. So with pun every intended, it's a pretty shitty disease.

Why iKantoo? Well, even though I'm disabled, there are still a lot of things that I'd like to do before my condition gets significantly worse or I pass onto my next existence. However, while being able to do whatever I want, I first choose to take care of my beautiful family. Which, if you've seen any television of theater from the 70's or 80's which portrays the life of a house wife before women's liberation and the massive influx of women into the marketplace, is an under appreciated, never-ending, and often thankless endeavor. However, it is my lot. I've been cast into this role, and I work daily to serve them to the utmost. However, I do recognize, that it is my choice to designate them as my first priority.

So this means that the whole pursuit of my dreams, while being my passion, takes a backseat to my domestic responsibilities. However, iKantoo means much more to than a random pseudonym that I snatched out of my imagination. Are you familiar with numerology? If not, it is any of many systems, traditions or beliefs in a mystical or esoteric relationship between numbers and physical objects or living things (from Wikipedia). Well after learning a little about i, I decided to calculate my own number. As explained in the Wikipedia page, there's a simple process that you can use to determine which number you are. Using my name, my real name, I calculated what my number would be using my first, middle and last names. The result? 2. However, as I know that there are quite a few people with my name, I decided to further personalize my number by adding in my birth date and social security number. Then wouldn't you know, it still came out as, 2. Every number 0 -10, has it's own meaning and significance, and for me two means balance, union, receptive, & Yin. If you knew, you'd know that undoubtedly, I'm a two.

So I wanted something that would include the number 2. In addition, though, I wanted a moniker, that serve to remind me that I'm capable of reaching my dreams. If millions of other people have reached their dreams, then
so could I. So after a short search, I came up "I can too." If other people with disabilities have conquered their limitations and achieved their dreams, then so could I. "I can too" become a published poet, artist, and photographer. "I can too" lead the world in ushering in a new era of publishing. "I can too" learn how to digitally produce comic books. "I can too" learn how to draw well enough to produce my own images so that I can publish comic books and children's stories.  It might take me longer than I wanted, but I won't quit. I'll get there, "I can too" make my dreams come true.